Chris Heaton-Harris MP @chhcalling@respublicae.eu

Which famous playwright was terrified of Christmas?
Noël Coward.

🐦🔗: https://n.respublicae.eu/chhcalling/status/1606884947008126976

What carol is most commonly heard in the desert?
O’Camel ye faithful…

🐦🔗: https://n.respublicae.eu/chhcalling/status/1606869848113528834

Heard of Smudge the Brown Nosed Reindeer?

He was as quick as Rudolph but couldn’t stop as fast.

🐦🔗: https://n.respublicae.eu/chhcalling/status/1606854749269155841

Name a dinosaur’s least favourite reindeer?

Comet.

🐦🔗: https://n.respublicae.eu/chhcalling/status/1606839775868190721

Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing?

They keep dropping their needles.

🐦🔗: https://n.respublicae.eu/chhcalling/status/1606824675484602371

What do you get when you mix a Christmas tree and an iPad?

A pineapple.

🐦🔗: https://n.respublicae.eu/chhcalling/status/1606809574828380160

Merry Christmas Everyone!

🐦🔗: https://n.respublicae.eu/chhcalling/status/1606802150423760896

Well, slightly based on the poll and more based on the lovely comments… there will be some Christmas jokes throughout the day tomorrow. Usual rules apply - none of the jokes are original and if you are upset by any of them, or a politician tweeting them, please unfollow me!

🐦🔗: https://n.respublicae.eu/chhcalling/status/1606733952152006656

Just running a short poll to help me decide whether to tweet a bunch of Christmas jokes to help celebrate the season. Those who have followed me for a while will know I tweeted a (terrible) joke a day for years previously.
So, should I tweet some jokes or not? Over to you:

🐦🔗: https://n.respublicae.eu/chhcalling/status/1606680876582146050

RT @NIOgov: Huge congratulations to @YouthActionNI, @Start360org and @DofE_NI for receiving the special Platinum Jubilee Queen's Award for Voluntary Service, recognising their fantastic work and dedication to supporting young people in Northern Ireland. 👏

🐦🔗: https://n.respublicae.eu/chhcalling/status/1605938036365221889

📣 Proud to have announced the @NIOgov #GFA25 education package for young people across the UK, which will show NI's journey to peace.

📁 The resources developed by @UkNatArchives will tell the story of NI's progress over the past quarter century👇

https://www.gov.uk/government/topical-events/the-25th-anniversary-of-the-belfast-good-friday-agreement

🐦🔗: https://n.respublicae.eu/chhcalling/status/1605166896394944512

🔔 I visited @UkNatArchives to announce the educational package for the @NIOgov programme marking the 25th anniversary of the Belfast (Good Friday) Agreement.
🎓 These resources highlighting NI's journey will be available for teachers & young people across the UK next year #GFA25

🐦🔗: https://n.respublicae.eu/chhcalling/status/1604872526106136578

RT @JamesCleverly: @MarosSefcovic @EU_Commission @SKyriakidesEU @EU_Health @EUdelegationUK @PedroSerranoEU @eurireland @IrelandRepBru @ZEKvSR @EUinDE @UEfrance Thank you @MarosSefcovic - I welcome this announcement which provides greater certainty for the veterinary medicines industry in Northern Ireland.

We will continue to look for long-term solutions on the Protocol, including on vet meds, to provide political stability in NI.

🐦🔗: https://n.respublicae.eu/chhcalling/status/1604867906734391296

Congratulations to @joekennedy on his appointment as US Special Envoy for NI. The UK Government shares & welcomes the US’ commitment to continuing to develop the potential & prosperity of NI. This appointment will create even more opportunities for taking forward this vital work.

🐦🔗: https://n.respublicae.eu/chhcalling/status/1604835393119059971

NI households will receive help with their energy bills with a £600 payment beginning in January.

I am grateful that officials, Ministers & suppliers have found a solution, especially given the complexity of NI’s energy market, but I would rather this delivered by the Executive.
RT @NIOgov: NEW: All homes in Northern Ireland to receive £600 energy bills support this January 💡
 
A single lump-sum will be paid to every household irrespective of how homes are heated…

🐦🔗: https://n.respublicae.eu/chhcalling/status/1604809063761575936

An exciting new position @simoncoveney. I’ve greatly enjoyed working with you over the last months and have appreciated our constructive working relationship and shared commitment to seeing Northern Ireland succeed.
RT @simoncoveney: Such a privilege to have been Minister in @dfatirl & @IRLDeptDefence. Amazing people dedicated to advancing #Irelands role globally & protecting our interests at home & abroad.

Today I’m honoured to become Minister in @DeptEnterpris…

🐦🔗: https://n.respublicae.eu/chhcalling/status/1604232404020903936

Best wishes to @LeoVaradkar & @MichealMartinTD as they become Ireland’s Taoiseach & Tánaiste, & to @simoncoveney in his new position at @DeptEnterprise. The UK & Ireland’s close bilateral relationship is so valuable, especially as work is done to ensure NI reaches its potential.

🐦🔗: https://n.respublicae.eu/chhcalling/status/1604189761278812160

Chilly start to the day at @HarlandWolffplc with Prime Minister @RishiSunak.

Delighted to be able to visit NI's leading maritime and offshore engineering companies with him, as it helps support the UK's National Shipbuilding Strategy.

🐦🔗: https://n.respublicae.eu/chhcalling/status/1603785128995704833

RT @RishiSunak: Great to be in Northern Ireland and join leaders at Stormont last night, to build relationships and discuss how to best deliver for the people of Northern Ireland.

I'm here in Belfast today meeting fantastic businesses and local communities.

🐦🔗: https://n.respublicae.eu/chhcalling/status/1603753893112213504

RT @GoTeamNI: Big thanks to @chhcalling and @NIOgov for the recognition shown to the athletes, coaches and support staff who performed so well at @birminghamcg22. Roll on 2026 @VicGovAu @CommGamesAUS @thecgf

🐦🔗: https://n.respublicae.eu/chhcalling/status/1603404278751797248